You met your wife for a reason.  You married her for a reason.  In marriage, you will learn more about yourself and more about letting go of selfish ways than almost anything else in life.  The only time you will learn more is when you have children.

So if you are wondering why your wife may not be as sexual, romantic and passionate as when you first met, consider how you have changed.  Have you become more or less selfish?  Trust me: I was a pretty selfish person before I got married.  Of course I was, it was just me - everything I did was in my best interest.  The old "look out for number one" attitude.  Yes, I did nice things for others, but at the end of the day, it was about me.  Most men are in the same boat.

Enter a wonderful wife.  What happens when you are no longer able to look out for number one?  What happens when you have to consider another person's feelings before your own?  Many times the answer is simple: resentment.

You may have had all kinds of expectations: lots of sex all the time, a hot meal every night, few arguments since you are the head of the household.  All those expectations you had were really premeditated resentments.  Then reality hits - jobs, chores, responsibilities.  And you find that your wife is tired at the end of the day - as are you.  When she doesn't meet the standards you had imagined in your mind, you end up disappointed.  So - you can go two ways:

1. You can be the husband that talks to his friends about "the ol' ball and chain."
2. You can be the husband who always puts his wife in a good light and longs to get home to see her.

The difference between 1 and 2 above is summed up in one word: choice.  If you choose to hold onto your expectations and resentments, then you will always feel trapped and tied down - the ball and chain.  But if you choose to let go and see your wife as the person God paired you with to teach you and help you grow into a better person - and you accept her as an individual with needs only you can meet, then you can feel honored to have such an opportunity. 

It is when you take the gift that has been given to you and cherish her and love her that you will begin to grow.  It is when you start dwelling each day on how you can make her life better - how you can make her smile - that you will reap the rewards of a fulfilling marriage.  When you love her and accept her in this way, she will want to meet your needs.  She will become more attracted to you and more intimate with you.  Her emotional libido will soar and her sex drive will kick into high gear.

Is this an easy thing to do?  No.  You never learn when something is handed to you - you only learn and grow through effort and self sacrifice.  But when you get there, you will find that your marriage will be more passionate and fulfilling than you ever thought possible.  You will be the husband who longs to see his wife at the end of the day - and she will long to see you.  I believe this is what God intends for marriage - it's time to accept your wife as His gift to you and cherish her.