One cause of distance in marriages is conflicting roles.  For example - a military branch, a ship, a company and a household all have one thing in common: to work right, they can only have one leader.  If both husband and wife wish to be the leader, repeated conflict is the result.  Repeated conflict causes resentment and distance between you and your wife.  I see a lot of power struggles going on in marriages.  In fact, they happen in my marriage (albeit very seldom...now). 

Why have power struggles?  You are both on the same team.  You should not be against your wife - you should trust her.  And she should not be against you - she should trust you.    Everything you do should be in her best interest and in the best interest of your marriage.  Everything she does should be in your best interest and in the best interest of the marriage.  It is a team effort.  However, for a team to work, there have to be defined roles.  Each role is different, yet equal. 

Without knowing your roles, you end up stepping on each other's toes and then power struggles can ensue.  Of course, as the husband, you want to be "the man of the house".  Well, what does that mean?  The answer may surprise you.  To be the leader, you must be the servant.  "What?"  Yes: lead by serving your wife.