Fully explaining the female libido may seem impossible. Well: that's because it is. Yet there are some critical truths about the female libido that men should know and understand.
The female libido thrives on many things. The top four are:
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Feeling loved
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Feeling wanted
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Feeling safe and secure
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Romantic anticipation and excitement
The Bible commands men to love their wives. This is because God knows that a woman's greatest need is to be loved. If you love your wife, and show her through loving service, you will be meeting a major need. Her libido is directly connected to how much she feels loved. Loved = better female libido.
Women want to be wanted. The do not want to be needed (see below). They want to be wanted. You should be with your wife because you want to be with her. If you want her, she feels attractive. If you need her, then in her mind you are not there because you want to be, so where is the attraction? Want her to want you? Then WANT her. Want = improved female libido.
When you love and serve your wife properly, she will feel a deep connected love from you and for you. This love will make her feel safe to open up to you. She will feel secure with you and will not fear being vulnerable with you. That leads to a relaxed wife who is unashamed of sex. Safe and secure = increased libido.
Women love romance and they love to look forward to something. If you plant little seeds with her about, for example, a romantic dinner date you have planned, she will be in romantic anticipation all day long. This will also be exciting for her. Romance, anticipation and excitement = higher libido.
The top four female libido killers:
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Stress
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Moving too fast
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Feeling objectified (not loved)
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Feeling too needed
Women respond to stress in the opposite way men do. If she is stressed she will not be able to relax. With troubles bouncing around in her head, her libido will be non-existent. Reduce stress and increase her libido.
If you move too fast to sex, she will end up turned off. The reason is that, in her mind, if you love her, you will take your time and enjoy kissing and building up to sex. The truth is that taking the time for foreplay can be very exciting for you and she both - take the time to rev up her engine and her libido will spike.
If you only want sex for you and you treat your wife as an object, she will not feel loved or sexy. In a nutshell, she is a human being and your wife - love her and treat her like God commands: with loving service.
Women do not want to be needed. Children "need" their mommies. Women get enough "needing" from their children. Before a woman has children, she does not need a child - a woman needs a man. Women are instructed by the Bible to respect their husbands. However, if you are a needy child to your wife, it will be difficult for her to respect you.
Of course, the female libido is much more complex than what is stated here. There can be physical issues, hormonal issues and psychological issues that may all have an effect on female libido. Understanding the needs of women is a key, but if libido problems persist, then other avenues must be explored. Be open and communicate with each other.
Continue to love and serve your wife, and many barriers will come down - at the same time her libido will be on the rise.