At one point in our marriage - when Dawn’s libido was really low and I was just doing what most guys do: pressuring her for sex and expecting sex in return for my romantic gestures – we went to a sex therapist.  Keep in mind that a sex therapist is a counselor who specializes in male and female libido, sexual issues and sexuality – there is nothing odd or kinky about a sex therapist (you’d be surprised how many people think so).

Anyway – the therapist suggested we have my wife’s testosterone levels tested.  Testosterone levels directly affect the female libido.  As it turns out, Dawn’s was on the low side of normal.  To help, the therapist suggested she take DHEA.  It really worked!  Not only did her libido increase, her mood improved and her anxiety levels were reduced.  It was great!

We also tried a number of other dietary and herbal remedies at other times.  Here’s what we found out:

DHEA – balances the body’s hormones.  It is a precursor to many different hormones and it regulates the hormone levels.  It helped bring up the level of testosterone and also the libido.  It also balanced out the other hormones so her mood was much more even and her stress levels were reduced – both further helped her libido.

Tribulus Terrestris Extract - it helps the body produce more testosterone.  Testosterone is an important hormone for sexual desire – in both men and women. In fact, it works so well at producing testosterone, the Russians used to use it as a supplement for their athletes.

Herbs and supplements do not directly affect libido – they affect things like hormone levels, improve blood circulation and reduce anxiety, which all together result in an affect on the female libido. 

Some other herbs include:

• Black Cohosh Root – used to balance estrogen levels – especially related to post and pre menopause.
• Epimedium – has been used to balance thyroid hormones and reduce stress.
• Valerian Root – muscle relaxant and anti-anxiety (I have use this one myself and it works well – I used the extract)
• Damiana Leaf – has been used for centuries as an aphrodisiac
• Ginko Boloba – helps circulation in the brain – widely touted to help mental acuity – also helps blood circulation in the extremities

Water – now this sounds like a stretch, I know – but I don’t think it is – lots of water helps the body get rid of toxins, prevents headaches from dehydration, improves blood circulation and enables the body to produce more moisture when it’s needed – you know what I mean.

I looked into purchasing supplements like Avlimil and Sentia, but I decided to buy the ingredients separately and make my own supplements for Dawn to take.  So I found a supplier for gel-caps and all the things I would need to fill them.  It was a very manual process and ended up costing almost as much as the brand names – plus it took a long time to make 120 pills – enough for two months.  The results:  she noticed a significant increase in her libido after about two weeks of taking my home-made supplements.  It was really cool.  So – in our case, at least – the herbal mixes actually worked.  Real results?  Placebo?  I don’t really care – the result was that our intimacy increased and that’s all I cared about at the time.

All the above was great when we tried it.  But since then, the number one thing that has increased her libido is the change in MY attitude.  I no longer pressure her – ever – for sex.  I no longer have expectations when I do things for her.  Believe me, it is much easier for her to enjoy a gift or deed if she knows it does not come with strings and obligations attached.  And with that comes relaxation and a feeling of unconditional love that results in increased libido, more passion and a better sex life for both of us.