After our second son was born from about week two to six of the six week "waiting period", my wife craved me - but we couldn't have sex. She wanted me and said she couldn't wait. I was SO Looking forward to week seven! But sometimes our hopes can turn into a lesson in patience.
Post partum depression set in. She became irritable and depressed to the point where she needed some help. Of course, this is perfectly normal and medication can help. So she started on Zoloft in about week six. The Zoloft made her feel so much better - and made her easier to live with: she was less anxious and in a better mood most of the time. But her libido fell through the floor! I was so disappointed in week seven! She had no sex drive whatsoever. In month six (still nursing and on Zoloft), still no sex drive. None. Nada. Zip.
So what can you do in this situation? (Keep in mind that this is not just for post partum depression, but for any depression) Well, normally I would ask her to take some herbal remedies that we have used in the past which worked well. However, she is nursing our baby, we do not want her to take herbs that could be passed through the breast to the baby and have uncertain hormonal effects. So I have to wait.
What works to increase her desire to have sex? At this stage in her life, emotions are running high and her emotional needs are greater than normal. So I redoubled my efforts to do as much as I can to help her de-stress and to make emotional connections with her. I have been romancing her and paying a lot of attention to her - including snuggling, kissing, holding and caressing her whenever possible (meaning whenever she is not "on a mission" to get something done). In a nutshell: I have been extra sweet to her - and there are no strings attached - no expectations - no pressure. Have you ever heard women talking and saying things like "so-and-so is such a sweet guy - I wish my husband was like that"? Well - my goal is to be that guy when she talks to her friends.
The result: although she has no sexual libido, she has "emotional libido". What I mean is that I have filled her emotional tank to overflowing and she simply wants to be as close to me as possible. She feels so close to me emotionally that she desires to kiss me and feel my skin on hers and that leads to her initiating sex more often. She doesn't want sexual satisfaction - she wants to please me and have an emotional connection. That's the key: the emotional connection. I don't expect sex and sometimes we just fall asleep. Yet either way it is mutually fulfilling.
However: I really cannot wait until she can either go off Zoloft or take the herbal mix we used in the past - or both. Because I know that that, along with my loving service, will push her libido higher than ever before! I can't wait! No... correction: I CAN wait and I will enjoy making her smile every day now, then and from then on. It's a lifestyle that I have come to enjoy from the bottom of my heart.