"Women are emotionally based" - sounds obvious, but it's deeper than you think. You may have noticed that your wife is an "emotional being". Most women are. So of course, you need to be sensitive to her needs and not slam her, for example, like you and the guys do to each other. But it runs deeper than that. Women use emotion, not logic, when responding to almost any given situation.
I don't know how many times I have been dumbfounded by Dawn's reactions to certain things. For example, we both love the movie "Fight Club" (yeah, she's pretty cool). Well: the first time we saw it, she commented that it had some really cool philosophical statements - it was pretty deep for a movie about fighting. I totally agreed. Fast forward 6 months... I was watching Fight Club again - but she was working on the computer. I made the same comment. She looked at me and said "psssh, whatever." She was serious - this movie was not deep and not cool. I was sitting there thinking "Are you the same person?!" Wisely, I said nothing - let it slide. Then fast forward another three months - we watched it together again - and guess what? She said "This movie is cool - it's pretty deep." AAAAAA!
What happened? Either she's a little psycho or she's emotionally based. Since I don't ever find knives under her pillow, I can rule out psycho. ;-) So - the first time, she was totally involved in the movie and her emotions were aligned with it - she was into it. The second time, it was background noise - she was a little annoyed with it. No positive comments allowed with negative emotions. The third time, again she was into it.
This happens all the time and it causes a lot of unnecessary conflict in relationships. Have you ever asked your wife about something and got a negative response - but then later it changes into a positive? We all have. Confusing? Yes. Unexpected? No. Instead of getting mad and arguing the point until you are both frothing at the mouth, give her some time. Let it sink in. Let her mood change. Then re-visit the subject. You may have to try a couple of times. Of course, many times it will change. Then get it in writing (just kidding) - but do make sure you are both clear: repeat the agreement and that you are both on the same page.
Do NOT expect her to be logical like you - God wired her different from you, it's perfectly normal and it's ok. Remember: if your wife is stressed, annoyed or angry, it will be like Calvin and Hobbs' "Opposite Day". Everything will be different later - just don't shove it down her throat - give her space and a little time. Less conflict means she will be happier and you will be closer. Happy and closer means she will be in the mood more frequently. Thus understanding her and how to work with her emotional reactions will improve your sex life.