Something I have discovered that works really well is to break out of the routine. The other day, Dawn was working on the computer and I was taking care of the children to give her the time to get some work done (we swap these roles when I am working on my projects).
It was a beautiful day outside so I invited her to come out in the backyard with us. She insisted that she needed to work. About five minutes later I suggested that she take a short break – she said she couldn't. At that point I insisted: the work would still be there when she came back. I playfully took her hand and firmly lead her outside. She relented with an "Ok – but just for a little bit."
We ended up forgetting about work, cleaning, and all the usual junk. We played with the kids – Frisbee, catch, etc. We enjoyed watching the baby explore and had a really nice chat about stuff and junk. It was great. I am not sure how long we were out there, but we didn't go in until the sun went down and the mosquitoes came out: about an hour or two. When we got back inside, Dawn decided that she could just do the work the next day.
The rest of the night felt different. We were both less stressed and felt like it was a weekend – but it was a Tuesday. She was relaxed – a very good thing.
The next day we went out front to fly toy balsa wood airplanes for a while. Again – we ended up very relaxed and the evening felt different.
So the key is to remove yourself and remove your wife from the routine. It may feel abrupt, and she may resist, but you can kindly insist. It interrupts your brain's expectations. When you follow your routine, time slips by fast because your mind knows what's next – it just goes through the paces. Interrupt the routine and your mind has to stop and take in the new unfamiliar situation.
When your mind has to stop and absorb something new, time seems to slow down; and it feels like you had an entire day in just an hour. You and your wife and your family can feel connected. This kind of relaxation and connection, by the way, can do wonders for your wife's passion and libido.