You have to ask yourself: are you in a contest or a relationship? Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? I think most men would say "b" on one and two. Otherwise, they wouldn't be on this site.
When you argue, do you stand strong, or do you listen and see? I initially stand strong – which never gets us anywhere. But it's in my nature. However, I have been making changes. When I see that I am wrong (which takes an open mind), that's it: end of argument – she is right – and I apologize and give her a hug. You'd be surprised at how quickly she'll be kissing you if you can just be a man and admit when you're wrong.
Frequently, an argument boils down to a simple misunderstanding. I said something and meant one thing – but Dawn takes it the opposite way. And later I find out that she's mad – which makes me mad because I feel like I did nothing wrong. "But you were acting like I'm a total ____." "No I wasn't" "Yes you were – you had that look on your face." Of course what she didn't know was that I was just pissed off at my computer or something.
So we go around and around a couple of times. Then finally I listen. She explains her perspective. I say "oh – that was because I had just lost an hour's worth of work." Now she is feeling better – except for the battle we just had for no reason. So – we agree that I will try to let her know when something else is bugging me – like: "hunny, I am really tired and irritated at ___, so if I am short with you, just know it's not you." And she'll try and realize that I am not her enemy – that if something can be taken two ways, I honestly meant it the better way.
Now we have very short arguments – usually. It's been 150% better. And I love it – so does she. And the end result: we are closer, she trusts me more, she is more relaxed with me, and her emotional libido tank is filling up.