Here are some things you should have on hand at all times to enable you to be spontaneous and romantic. You want to spark her libido and passion? Get these:
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Candles. Get the kind of candles that come in their own glass jar with a lid. They are safer than the tall candles, won't spill wax all over the place and when you put the lid on they go out without filling the room with smoke. Choose scented candles with mild scents like vanilla or melon – or your wife's favorite scent.
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Cards. Get about 15 different "thinking of you" and "I love you" greeting cards. Then – over the course of a few months, whenever you have the idea of leaving one in her purse or car or mailing one to her work, you can do it before you forget. Just write a short personal note in each when you send it. I once sent a card a day for a week and then brought her flowers to her work at the end of the week as a surprise. She loved it!
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Incense. Incense can really make your home smell nice and create a relaxing atmosphere. Some incense in really powerful – I personally don't like those. I get the Angelic Series from Shoyeido Corporation – they are really mild and romantic scents. My wife loves them – and the gift box set from the last series has lasted us over 3 years now.
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Bubble Bath. Get scented bubble bath for your wife – but don't give it to her. The cucumber and melon scents are really relaxing. Whenever you make her a bath, use it and put some candles around the tub. She'll melt with relaxation.
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Your cell phone. Yes – your cell phone can be romantic – just call her out of the blue just to say hi and "I love you." Send her loving text messages.
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A Blanket. Keep a blanket in your trunk. That way, you can do things spontaneous like stop and look at the stars or just enjoy relaxing under a tree on a warm day.
Now put these things to good use. Try to do something small two or three times a week for her – such as a card or note or a call or e-mail. Try to do something medium for her at least once a week – such as bring home flowers or make a nice dinner. And try to do something big for her at least once a month – such as a full evening without kids that includes a nice dinner, a bath and a massage – all truly from your heart with no obligations attached. Mix it up – make nothing routine.
Every once in a while, go a week or two without doing anything except calling or e-mailing to keep contact. Then start romancing her again. She'll appreciate it more that way – it won't be the same ol' thing.
Of course all the while you will be helping her around the house and with the kids if you have any – be there for her and spend time with her – use the things above as the extra romantic perks that will help boost her passion and desire.