I recently wrote about how great it was that my wife was initiating sex every night of the week. It was great. Well, for every good stretch, there is a dry spell. If you have children and jobs and babies, it is almost impossible to have romantic interludes every night. We have been so busy and so tired it is crazy. A friend of mine gave me a cool movie to watch over the weekend – and we ended up getting to bed every night after midnight – with no time to watch the movie. It’s nuts – and the baby has been up three times a night. Ugh! It’s been like that for some reason the last couple of weeks.
As a result: Dawn is so tired there is no way I would think of being sexual with her. Even I have been so tired that… well, honestly, I am never THAT tired.
So what have I been doing? Sulking? Being resentful? Nope. I've been doing the same thing I have been doing all along: I have been lovingly serving my wife and doing romantic things for her and helping her with the house and kids. But – I am doing it all because I love her – not because I expect to get anything – specifically: I don’t expect sex.
The result is that just last night, my wife was apologizing to me. Imagine that: she was saying she was sorry we have not been sexually intimate. Wow. Well, she shouldn't have to apologize – she has every reason for not being in the mood (but it was really nice to know that she was thinking of me in spite of her being so tired). I assured her that I was in NO WAY mad at her for any reason. I told her that I completely understand. I know things are about to swing back – she has really been amorous and wanting to be very, very close. God, I love my wife! The effect is that things never become routine – it’s actually good to go without for short periods because it makes things much more exciting when your sex life gets back into gear again.
I think I am going to coin a term for a rule for a good sex life. Something like “If you fill her emotional libido tank, then you fill your calendar for romance.” Ok, so that is not so great – but you get the point.