If you want your wife to be open with her sexual desires and if you want her to be sexual, then she needs to feel beautiful and sexy. Even if she is a classically beautiful fashion model, she may not feel it inside. Some of the most beautiful women in the world are not happy with themselves – thus all the plastic surgery in Hollywood. If she is not beautiful in the classic sense of the "world" then she is certainly beautiful to you. So how do you make her feel beautiful?
From the Heart
First off: tell her – from the heart. How? Stop and look at her some time. Pick your favorite part of her – it could be physical, like her eyes – or it could be something like the way she laughs. Then think about how beautiful that is to you – internalize it. Then take her by the hand, look into her eyes and take that internalization and express it – say: "you know… you have really pretty eyes" or "your laugh is so beautiful to me." Since it is from the heart, she will melt. Be sincere. Be honest.
Dwell on Her Beauty
Start to dwell on the beauty you find in her. Think about the things that are beautiful and that you appreciate about her. Dream about her. Love her in your mind and in your heart. Then tell her about it:
Send her a card
Send her a random e-mail
Look into her eyes and tell her.
When you wake in the middle of the night, whisper it to her with a light kiss.
Note: Keep in mind – you are not going to do this all the time – just a couple times a week. Otherwise, it will be overwhelming.
Do not be afraid. If she reacts oddly, it may be because you are doing this out of character. Then just tell her that you are making some changes in yourself. Tell her you just want to start really appreciating her. No matter her response, just keep doing it.
I've heard about some women who end up laughing – because of the shock of drastic change. If this happens to you, just roll with it – it is kind of funny to have such drastic changes. But keep doing it; and the laughs will turn into hugs; and the hugs into kisses; and the passion will grow. (If she does not come around after a while, she may have something holding her back – you may need some outside help)
But for the most part, the jaws will drop; the tears of joy will well; the embrace will ensue; the kisses will be passionate; and the passion will grow.